The Social Dilemma: Connection or Catastrophe?
In late 2020, director Jeff Orlowski released a thought provoking film that sounded an alarm on what many of us have been feeling and what many within the tech industry already knew: social media is tearing us apart in concerning ways and will continue to do so if left unchecked.
How many times had you logged onto Facebook to find an older relative sharing yet another suspicious news source spreading a false narrative during the presidential election? How many unfiltered/unedited photos can you currently find on Instagram, without comments of girls wishing they met the unrealistic beauty standard set within that altered image? Have you come across a friend online that shares a concerning amount of information that should likely be kept private? How about the keyboard warriors, easily bullying individuals online? And despite all of this, why is it still so hard to put down your phone?
The Internet, as amazing as it has been, has also fostered a scary side that we are understanding at a slower pace than the consequences are occurring. The internet in its entirety is a new playground that is evolving rapidly alongside technology and we are learning its effects in live time. The Social Dilemma does a great job of shining a light on those concerns and its likely consequences, which made me reflect on the realization of just how many moments I resonated with the film due to my own social media experiences.
One scene that I sadly recognized within my life was the younger sister of the family that the film continues to follow. The younger sister seems naive and impressionable, glowing from receiving multiple positive comments on her heavily filtered photo. However, not long after posting, a negative comment is made about her ears. She proceeds to focus on that comment, look in the mirror, and cry while observing her ears. She is perpetually glued to her phone and the influences resulting from its content.
When my son was in the 4th grade, he began to develop a crush on one of his classmates. She was super sweet and often came by our door to ask to play with him. I thought it was adorable, and my son did little things to impress her and make her happy, such as wearing her favorite color from top to bottom (he legit asked me to buy him washable hair dye to complete the look). As they played more and with other neighborhood children, I noticed his crush would sit-out for long periods of time to be on her phone instead.
Everything was fine until it wasn’t. To make a long story very short, my son’s school had to get involved and explain to me the sexual conversations his crush was trying to engage him in. It was discovered she had a TikTok account full of explicit content and a group chat online showed messages of some of my son’s classmates referring to his crush in vulgar ways. Please remember these were 9–10 year-olds. I was mortified. At that age, I was just learning what lol, g2g, and brb meant. The internet, its content, and its accessibility were entirely different when I was a child vs. my son. And our age gap is truly not that wide.
My son was, and still is, one of the very few children without a cell phone or social media. I have seen other children get onto social media each year at what seems like younger and younger ages. It’s estimated that screen usage amongst tweens and teens has increased by a startling 17% within the last 2 years, about 5 to nearly 9 hours a day respectively (Moyer, 2022). I’m astonished at some of the things my son expresses that he sees around him at school regarding cell phone and computer usage. Social media can be very difficult to handle on an emotional level for adults, how can we possibly expect children to handle its social pressures and complications when they are actively developing? We shouldn’t, but this is the world they are actively growing in.
Social media also has a funny way of distorting our reality and perception, based on the content we decide to consume and the content that is chosen to be displayed to us (likely by targeted advertisements). One of the most common distortions that many of us are all likely guilty of at one point or another is the filtering of our lives and how we curate its appearance online. These perfect snippets can leave anyone thinking a person’s life looks picture perfect, but it fails to acknowledge there is so much more behind the scenes to a person’s life.
“We know from social media experts that sharing the best moments of life has created a serious problem. For teens and young adults in particular, there’s a sense that none of us can measure up. If we’re all “mentalizing” a small portion of who we are, and that portion is only the absolute perfect moments of our lives, then it is creating widespread depression and anxiety. We’re only seeing 1% of reality.” — John Brandon
Of course, no one actually likes to share the bad news in their life, why would you? Regardless, this behavior has resulted in myriad of negative effects. Once again, with adults struggling with these elements, how are younger individuals handling it? Not well at all. Many studies point to a strong correlation between heavy technology use and poor mental health. “Between 2009 and 2017, rates of depression among kids ages 14 to 17 increased by more than 60%, the study found. The increases were nearly as steep among those ages 12 to 13 (47%) and 18 to 21 (46%)” (Heid, 2019).
At my age, my “distortion” online is the fact that Facebook and Instagram’s algorithms won’t stop showing me everyone’s engagement, marriage, and baby. It feels like everyone I know is somewhere in that stage all at the same time, despite logically knowing that isn’t the case. However, I am able to process that as much as I still question it, but younger undeveloped minds cannot distinguish such just yet when it looks like everyone (online) in school has “xyz” or looks just like so-and-so. I worry about the digital landscape our youth continues to grow into.
What are we able to do to as a society to help foster healthy relationships with technology? We are aware, as discussed in the Social Dilemma, these social media platforms we heavily engage upon are literally designed to keep us addicted. They know what keeps us coming back for more and continuing the cycle until they realize it doesn’t, and then they find new ways to feed into our addiction. Here are some suggestions from The American Psychological Association to help curb our tech addiction:
- Don’t use phones behind the wheel
- Defend your sleep
- Turn off notifications
- Manage expectations
- Use social media wisely
- Be present
- Take time to recharge
Thankfully, there are different guides and resources available to help us balance our use of technology. Technology has done some incredible things for our society and provides many incredible benefits, but balance is the key word. It should not be feared but as it continues to become a crucial part of our society, we must be mindful to keep these aspects of our digital realms in check.
Some bonus questions for you to consider…
- Do you think you could stay off your phone for 24 hours? What notification would compel you to get back on your phone?
I wouldn’t lie, staying off my phone would be a challenge. There’s plenty that I do each day that normally requires the use of my phone. The notification that would likely guarantee me returning to my phone is that from anyone who would be with my son at the time if he wasn’t with me. I would be too worried. - Why do you use social media? Is that the only way for you to achieve those things?
I normally use social media to stay connected to others and find amusing content. It’s definitely not the only way to achieve this, but it is one of the most convenient and accessible ways to do so. - If you could only keep one social media app, which app would it be and why?
I’ve really come to love the TikTok platform and it’s the first social media platform that came to mind when considering this question. TikTok provides such an easily digestible format that also provides a sense of “closeness” to others in a way. It’s almost like you’re FaceTiming with your friends. The variety of content on the platform is also a big draw, but I admit, the platform is wildly addicting. It’s far too easy to keep scrolling and consuming videos for hours. - After watching the film, do you plan to change any of your privacy settings on social media? Which ones, and why or why not?
I grew up being taught about stranger danger and the unique challenges of the internet, therefore, my settings have also been as private as possible. Despite my efforts, I also know as private as your settings are, anything can happen once its on a digital platform. I have no plans to change anything due to how private I keep things normally and I would rather keep it that way. I do re-evaluate these settings from time to time, as some platforms “need” publicity to flourish depending on the intended goals (i.e., increasing follower count).
References:
Brandon, J. (2021, July 30). Try Sharing Just One Bad Moment On Social Media American Psychological Association. (2017, November 17). Connected and content: Managing healthy technology use. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/social-media-internet/healthy-technology-use
Brandon, J. (2021, July 30). Try Sharing Just One Bad Moment On Social Media And See What Happens. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/johnbbrandon/2021/07/30/try-sharing-just-one-bad-moment-on-social-media-and-see-what-happens/?sh=574a7f31e67d
Heid, M. (2019, March 14). Depression and Suicide Rates Are Rising Sharply in Young Americans, New Report Says. This May Be One Reason Why. Time. https://time.com/5550803/depression-suicide-rates-youth/
Moyer, M. (2022, March 24). Kids as Young as 8 Are Using Social Media More Than Ever, Study Finds. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/24/well/family/child-social-media-use.html
Orlowski, J. (Director). (2020, September 9). The Social Dilemma.
